Inspirational Wednesday

I don’t know if it’s the carnival that is coming, but I’ve been so into masks photos. And I don’t even care that some of them remind me of horror movies. Haha. Here’s a selection of what I found creatively good these days...

(I am not an autor of these photos, click on every picture and you will see the original flickr content).

February

Point Lobos, CA - Portra 160

February is here. In a few (very few) days, I’ll be 33. And I:

- Still don’t have a clue about what to do with my life;
- Still pretty much hate this brazilian weather;
- Still underestimate my work;
- Still chose the most mentally weak players to root for;
- Still don’t feel safe in my own skin;
- Still can’t coordinate colors;
- Still dress like a crazy homeless person;
- Still listen to Etta James out loud on “those days”;
- Still feel safe when I’m in his arms;
- Still am broke;
- Still am glad january is over.

Last week I lost a really good friend. It was a stupid death. He had a giant headache from an insolation and people in the hospital gave him a medicine which he was allergic to. It was very, very sad. He was a couple months younger than me and had a beautiful 2yo daughter. 

RIP, my dear friend

Ignorance is a bliss

I was talking to a friend the other day, we were remembering the times when I started to photograph “for real”. I was 20 at the time and decided to take the hobby to a profession. From then to now there was a lot of drama and money wasted. Since I first decided to take classes, and invest on good quality equipment to where I am now, it took me more than 10 years. Do you remember the “Fotolog” ol’ days? well, I had a page there and I remember posting almost daily. And I was so fascinated with this, I used to post photos (of a questionable quality) of my feet, of my books, of everything around and I thought I was so deep!! I thought I was this huge talent waiting to happen. It is so funny how we think of ourselves at a young age and years later we disappoint that young person so much. Of all the things I thought I would be by the age of 32 (almost 33), none happened. Of course, a lot of other great things happened, and I am happy and all that. But there’s this feeling that the more I study and the more I learn about photography, the more I think less of myself. My ignorance was the fuel that kept me on risking. Now I think I am too settled. Because I know I’m not an Annie Leibovitz or an Anton Corbijn. I know I’m not the next best thing and I find myself stuck in there. I have this struggle from time to time, but especially around my birthday. Does it happen to you too?

Update: Just when I pressed “publish”, I remembered this Nick Hornby book I have, “A long way down”. Have you guys read it? Well, there’s this quote I love, and it kinda sums up what I’ve been thinking.

“The trouble with my generation is that we all think we’re fucking geniuses. Making something isn’t good enough for us, and neither is selling something, or teaching something, or even just doing something; we have to be something. It’s our inalienable right, as citizens of the twenty-first century. If Christina Aguilera or Britney or some American Idol jerk can be something, then why can’t I? Where’s mine, huh? (...) But having talent is never enough to make us happy, is it? I mean, it should be, because a talent is a gift and you should thank God for it, but I didn’t. It just pissed me off because I wasn’t being paid for it, and it didn’t get me on the cover of Rolling Stone.”

Inspirational Wednesday

Anton Corbijn

If you don’t know his work yet, baby, you have to do it, NOW. He’s one of the best photographers of all time (in my modest opinion) and probably the reason why I decided to photograph. His work change the way we (or at least I) see photography in the music business. He started as a music photographer, being friends with the guys and then his talent introduce to new bands and then other bands, then he started to work for a lot of fashion magazines (because he was doing something totally new) and sort of mixed it all. The music shots were more fashion, and his fashion shots were totallly rock’n’roll. And, since he never settles, now he’s in Hollywood! I loved all of the films he directed and can’t wait for “Life” to be released (about the photographer who is assigned to shoot James Dean).

I have a bunch of favorite photos here, but the ones I really, really like are all of the Nirvana photos (I think nobody portrayed the band as good as he did) and the Metallica shots from 95 to 01, specially the Reload booklet photos. They are probably my all time favorite (unfortunately I didn’t find any throughout the web, and don’t have a scanner here to prove my point).

There’s an excellent documentary about his work called “Inside Out”. Sometimes it is on Youtube, sometimes they remove it. You can find it here, but I don’t know until when. Run. :) It is half english half dutch, but comprehensible. 

There’s also a film he did for Leica, with photography tips, which I find adorable! 

Hope you like it! 

Monday bubbles

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.

Jane Austen 

California III

During that week we spent at San Francisco, we decided to take the wine tour through Napa and Sonoma. It was a really beautiful sunny day (I already shared one photo in this post). The wines there are soooo good. I end up buying a Chardonnay at the Sonoma Winery we visited (where the portrait from the other post was taken), I believe it’s called Richolson Nicholson Ranch or something. If you ever go there, buy their Chardonnay. It was the best I’ve ever tasted and I regret had bought only one.

And the food there is also amazing, we had lunch somewhere around Napa at a place called “Pacific Blue”. I ordered the Veggie Burger, and it was from out of this world! Seriously. 

The other thing I forgot to mention before: when in California, try to get your films developed at Richard Photo Lab. Their work is amazing, really (if the picture didn’t come out as I expect I’m the only one to blame, haha), and I don’t need to say that. From their giant client list you must know that. It was fun to know the place and the people working there. It is in LA, at North La Brea Av, 979 . and they have parking which is a plus considering you're in LA. I didn’t developed all my films in there, because they got lost in my luggage and when I find there wasn’t enough time, so if you’re organized and smart, try to develop all of them. You won’t be sorry. 

Entrance of one of the Wineries we visited.

I tell him all the time: if our kids don’t have his eyes, I will divorce him immediately! (it’s a joke, of course!)

Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a wedding here? 

Nikon F100

35mm f1.4G

Velvia 100 (exp 2009)

Californication II

I was thinking about posting the crazy bike adventure, but I decided to let you have a little bit of the touristy San Francisco.

Next post I’ll show you a little about Frisco, Sausalito and Tiburon. I biked for 9 hours. It’s hard to realize you’re tired when there’s so much beautiful things to see! But, believe me, I felt everything the day after. I’m not 20 anymore, you know. :)

From cable cars to the crooked street, to Alcatraz seen from the pier to the ups and downs of this magic city. A sneak peak.

Quick thought: I realized in this trip I need a smaller camera. I want a Leica for so long, but still don’t think it is my time to get yet (if you know what I mean $$$), I researched a bit and thought about a Bessa R3A, any of you have, had or used one before? Would you recommend?

Release me

Internet is really fascinating. As much as we are screaming to the whole world, it seems sometimes no one is listening. I kinda needed it right now. I need to scream really loud, but I don’t want anyone to actually listen to me. Does that make any sense?

I lost my father when I was 9 years old, almost 10. It was so fast. Everything was fine, we had a great day and then he started to feel sick, went to the hospital and never came back. He was 45 and it was a fatal heart attack. It was december 29th, 1991. From this day on, every december is my time to feel sick. I don’t know how people survive around me this time of the year. All I do is listen to Pearl Jam’s Release and feel really bad about my life. Questioning God and all that. I know I had many good things in my life, but none of that fill the void of not having my dad here to ask simple questions. Is that ok to cross the red lights at 2 am? do I have to vote if there’s not even one good candidate? should I spend money buying another lens or should I buy a car and stop taking cabs? do I always have to pick up the road not traveled? And, most important, what should I do with my life?

Every time I ask Marcelo to take a picture of me, although I hand the camera all set, it takes him around 975 hours to actually click. And almost every time he chooses to do it while I blink. It really amazes me. But actually I love this pic, although I look a bit drunk (and there’s an empty glass in my hand) it was a really good day. Just to lighten up this dark post.

The man I love

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

Pablo Neruda

Nikon F100
35mm f1.4G
Trix 400

Portraits

I went on this workshop of portraits a few weeks ago, with a great photographer from Sao Paulo. She’s amazing, I really love (and respect) her work and it was everything I thought it would be. So good to know talented people and realize they are all so very nice, huh? It gives me a little hope to thing not everything is lost, haha. Anyway! One of the main subjects on those 2 days was creativity. How do we keep our minds creative enough, to inspire our work and our selves. So I took my F100 with me and while I was doing the exercises with the digital I shot one in film when I felt like it was the right time. Of course I didn’t shoot every time I thought I had a good frame, but, you know, life’s not always perfect and the right time sometimes happens when you’re with your digital camera in your hands. I only had a few frames in this roll and the other one is still in my camera, so.. Here you’ll see shots of those amazing people I met during those magic 2 days. They are all very talented female photographers, and I lovde to have met them.

The photographer: Sharon Eve Smith, her work is great and she is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

Nikon F100
50mm 1.8
Portra 800

a little announcement

There’s only one thing I love more than travel and it is to photograph while traveling. If maybe you’re in California during this period and want to make a memory, email me! I’ll be traveling from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Fancy a session in Yosemite? (I do, lol). Maybe Napa Valley? Or maybe just a good old city kind of session. With buildings and maybe Golden Gate or the Hollywood sign, to make it a very nice postcard from your vacation? I have plenty of ideas... help me spread the word!

goodbye, August!

Nikon F100 | 35mm f1.4G | Kodak Portra 160

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.”
~Edgard Allan Poe

August was good, not complaining here, but I certainly hope September will be better. Spring is arriving, trees are blooming, the heat is bearable, many weddings happening for me to capture with all my heart (and eyes). Great expectations. 

How are your expectations for september? 

a good day

This will be a very personal post. VERY.

A couple months ago, me and my boyfriend argued about goals in life. I think every once in a while couples go through that... Where is this relationship going and all the stuff. Then, in a calm, warm afternoon, he calls me up to see something. A piece of ground, where it will be OUR house. And I was so happy. From 2 streets up, you can see a little bit of the city (first and second photo). Then we took a ride on the complex (it’s a house complex, it has - actually will have - tennis courts, playground and all these facilities) and then as we were leaving, the sky was literally on fire. It was so beautiful. Probably one of the most incredible sunsets I’ve ever saw. I don’t believe in many things, but I want to believe it was a way of my late father say “don’t worry. I’m not there, but I’m here. And everything will be alright"

Nikon F100
50mm 1.8 D
Fuji Pro 400H