Begin again

I haven't posted here since september. Yep. September. The 9/12 month. It's nearly 4 months. Of silence.

To be quite honest, it's not like I missed that much which makes me question the whole point of it.

I love going through your blogs and see your work. It's just I don't feel like posting lately... or producing.

2015 was my Marie Kondo year (have you read her book? It did change your life too?). I applied the KonMari method in all my life, not just my stuff. Does it brings joy or happiness or love? Nope? Then I don't need it. Last year was very complicated professionally speaking. I had to do a lot of things I didn't agree to keep my business alive. I had to shoot in different ways for people I didn't want to. But we got to pay the bills in the end of the day. Makes me question A LOT of things. When I gave up my structured professional life to jump in the art of making photos it sounded so much more romantic. It's not that easy. And it makes you not love that much what you once loved so deeply. I knew that it wouldn't be the same as when I use to do it for fun, I'm not that naive. But, I swear, I didn't know it would be this hard.

So there was a lot of talk to myself. What to do, how to do it and, most importantly, for how long. I don't want to be the girl who spends the rest of her life punching the knife (I don't think there's an equivalent of that expression in english, just realize that. But we say in portuguese "to punch the knife's end", if someone knows a better translation feel free to correct me in the comments, please.).

I hope I can show up a little more in here, but if I do show up, it will be because I want to. Maybe I'll even fall in love with my job again. Who knows. I'm doing my best. But I honestly feel sometimes the things we want the most are not exactly what will make us happy in the end of the day.

Hope I'm wrong. Maybe this is just blablabla because I'm in the astral Hell.

To end this in a happy note, here's a few portraits of mom. I had this roll of Ilford Delta 3200 and wanted to give it a try. We had a good cappuccino on this very nice Patisserie near her house and as I was finishing my roll, later that week, I got this portrait of her in her favorite spot in the city.

* All photos taken with a Nikon F100 w/ Ilford Delta 3200

Popcorn

One of these days I was walking around the neighborhood and, in my way back home, I, as per usual, decided to buy a bag of sweet popcorn with fried cheese on top. This is something I love since I was a kid (which happened a long time ago). I can't explain how good this is. The salty cheese and the sweet flavor of the popcorn is beyond amazing. I feel like they have a party in my mouth. I tried almost every popcorn cart in the city (there's a lot where I live) and this is the best, I guarantee you! And, for my luck, it is 10 minutes walk from my house. Yay!!!

Do you have any treats you love and search the entire town for the very best?
(aside from coffee, which I know 99% of you are as crazy about it as I am. Maybe I'll show you my favorite sometime).

Nikon F100
35mm f1.4G
Kodak Gold 100, exp

la caféine

I am a coffee/tea addicted. There, I said it. The kind of person who can't go through a day without a cup? Me. Sometimes I enjoy to photograph also, but not every time. There are times, when I’m with some non-photographer friend, we tend to talk more than anything else so I won’t waste the moment taking a shot. But I do love the ritual on hot beverages. Sugar, honey, too much, too little, the spoon, the cream, the non-cream, the talking while stirring it.
On that day I went to an Organic Café near home, with my cousin. I ordered Macchiato, and she ordered Camomile tea. It was a good day.

I wonder if I like the ritual more than the drink itself, haha. I was doing a series, called “caffeine of the day” on my instagram last week (it’s easier to pull out the phone instead of a camera), thinking about doing it around here too. Probably not that constantly, but maybe “caffeine of the month”?! What do you think?

Nikon F100
35mm 1.4 G
Fuji Pro 400H

wishing and hoping

So it was my goddaughter's 9th birthday, june 8th. It was a really good day. We had homemade pasta (as you already saw here), friends and family over my brother's house, she had her cousins with her, it was really nice. Sometimes I look at her and I can't believe it has been so long since she was a baby. She's so tall now, and independent, and beautiful. Time is so tricky. When I realize how fast time is moving, it makes me wanna live the moment even more.

Nikon F100
Fuji PRO 400H

Homemade Pasta

My sister-in-law is a great chef trying to conquer the world. While it doesn't happen we take advantage of being testers of those yummy recipes.

I don't have pictures of it when it was ready because I was too busy, if you know what I mean ;-)